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If you’ve met your partner on a dating website and everything is moving along smoothly, there will come a time when one or both of you will realize that the relationship is ready to move forward to the next level.  If he’s not saying anything, you may decide to have a talk with your partner. Having the “talk” can make things potentially awkward between the two of you, so you’ll want to be certain that the two of you are on the same page.

If you’re feeling that the relationship is stagnant or one-sided, you certainly owe to yourself and to your partner to say something.  It may not be the perfect match you originally thought it was, or your partner may not realize what is going on in your head.  Never take anything for granted.  He doesn’t know what you’re thinking, because he can’t read your mind.  So if you’re unhappy or you need more from the relationship, you have to let your partner know.

If you are the one to initiate this conversation, you have to be prepared for the outcome, good or bad.  If you are honest about what you need, and he is not able to meet those needs, the best solution may be to end things so you are able to move forward.  It’s won’t be the easiest thing in the world to do, particularly if everything has been seemingly fine up until now.  But if you’ve been feeling restless and anxious enough to initiate this conversation in the first place, obviously, the relationship wasn’t 100 percent on track anyway.

Your partner may absolutely agree with you and realize that both of you are ready to take things up a notch.  If he is willing to work on things you’ve presented in your conversation, then the best thing you can do for yourself and for this relationship is to give him time to make the adjustment.  Relationships take work and the two people involved are not always in the same place in life.  Give your partner space and time to readjust to the new path your relationship may now take.

If you do feel ready to have this conversation, make sure the two of you are in a private neutral environment where you can have the opportunity to speak clearly without pressure or tension.  Don’t get defensive if your partner says things you don’t want to hear—remember you’re the one that brought the subject up in the first place.  Yes, you need to be heard regarding your needs, but you also need to do an equal amount of listening.  That is the essence of a strong relationship—give and take and learning to grow together.

You may have met a really great person on a dating website and you are truly interested in seeing him again.  You may have gone out a few times and seem to really be hitting it off.  But something between the two of you is not quite right.  Communication skills are absolutely essential in any type of relationship.  If you are giving mixed signals to your dating website partner, this could make or break your future with this particular person.

The basic rule of thumb is to mean what you say, and say what you mean.  If things are moving too fast for you and you don’t see yourself in a committed relationship, you need to let your partner know.  It’s not fair to either one of you if you lead him to believe something other than what’s really going on.  Don’t be afraid to say no, or slow down.  If you don’t, you’re bound to leave some hurt feelings. Just be honest and upfront about what you need and want.

If you’d rather not see the person again, and you don’t want to be rude, tell them as nicely as possible that you don’t see things working out between the two of you.  If you’ve only had one date, and he keeps calling, send him an email as quickly as possible and politely explain that you don’t think the two of you are a good match. Don’t leave him hanging if he keeps leaving messages.  Don’t ignore him because you don’t want to go out with him again.  Simply tell him the truth so that both of you can move on.

If you do like your new date, you want him to know it.  Playing hard-to-get is simply adolescent and has no place in a mature relationship.  Honesty wins every time, so let him know that you are as interested in him as he is in you.  Game playing only leads to confusion and gets you know where.  Don’t assume he already knows you  like him and don’t do anything at all.  Chances are he has no idea how you feel and is agonizing over this as much as you are.

The best advice here is to be as straight-forward as possible with your date.  If you don’t want to see him again, let him down easy.  If you are interested, you should definitely make sure he knows that too. It’s hard enough trying to decode behavior and body language with our new date.  At the very least, you should try to be honest and clear with one another when you’re together in order to know whether or not the new relationship has a chance to move forward.  No need to belabor things if the chemistry isn’t there, and no need to torment yourself if you both like each other and no one is talking.

Photo via Rena Mayne

Okay, before you get all hot and bothered, I’m talking about sleeping together in the same bed.  Just sleeping.  Well, maybe not just sleeping, but this article is simply about sharing space together.  In bed. Frankly, sleeping together can sometimes be more intimate than sexual relations.  It’s your most private time when you’re at your most vulnerable and to allow someone into your bed—into your inner sanctuary, takes a lot of trust and intimacy.  If you have reached that point in your dating website relationship, let’s hope the compatibility you’ve shared up until now will continue once the two of you are under the blankets together.