It seems to me that everyone knows how they represent themselves online is important, but aren’t really taking the time to make it the best it can be.  Three specific places where an online profile is important are Dating Sites, LinkedIn and Facebook.  I personally have a LinkedIn and Facebook profiles and I have had a profile on a dating site.  It never ceases to amaze me what drives a person to display photos or written information of themselves that is unflattering to put it mildly.

You may say that what you post on your Facebook profile doesn’t matter because it is your personal space.  CareerBuilder did a study in 2009 finding 45% of employers surveyed used Facebook to vet potential employees.  Just think what that percentage is now. Thirty-five percent of employers reported they have found content on social networking sites that caused them not to hire the candidate. The top examples cited include:

Candidate posted provocative or inappropriate photographs or information – 53%

Candidate posted content about them drinking or using drugs – 44%

Candidate bad-mouthed their previous employer, co-workers or clients – 35%

Candidate showed poor communication skills – 29%

Candidate made discriminatory comments – 26%

Candidate lied about qualifications – 24%

Your Facebook profile matters!

What about LinkedIn?  Surely it is a given that your profile matters here.  According to Career Rocketeer, don’t forget to add a face to your name and to the brand you are creating on your LinkedIn profile. This helps build a stronger and more personal connection between you and your profile viewers.  Also ensure that your profile picture is professional so to maximize your first impression.  Image matters!

Finally, dating sites.  This is probably the most confusing place people don’t take the time to put their best self out there.  I have never met anyone that said it doesn’t matter what kind of picture people post on their dating profile.  It always matters!  It is the first stop to get noticed.  It is also what your date expects to see when you meet.  Some common mistakes are as follows:

1. No picture at all.

2. Including pets and kids.

3. Too far away.

4. More than one person.

5. Overly sexy.

I will expand on these mistakes and others more in a future blog.  My point is that your online profile matters.  It is just as important as picking out the right outfit for your big interview or your first date.  Take the time to look over your profile and see if you are hitting the mark or if you need to freshen it up!

Why do people send in photos to dating sites that do not do them justice? Why don’t they post their best pictures? Why don’t they invest in being their most appealing? Are people afraid of success?

Why do people write up a profile that doesn’t provide an accurate portrait of who they are and what’s important to them? Why don’t they post their best characteristics? And if your looking for a certain something in someone, tell the world. Are people afraid of success?

If you are really trying to make a meaningful connection, invest the time, energy and effort into being your best online….unless of course, you’re afraid of success.

When it comes to meeting new people, whether it is for dating or making business connections, I think we will all agree it is important to show your best.  Showing your best doesn’t just mean your picture, it also includes anything your write about yourself.  I was divorced about 5 years ago and it was hard to get back into the workforce and the dating scene.  I quickly found out the internet provided a sea of opportunities.  Along with all those opportunities came the challenge of choosing the right picture that represented me and writing about myself without sounding stupid.  The photo was only the first challenge, I found that many other people didn’t have a decent photo to load (ex. a man holding 4 cats).  The second challenge was that they seemed a little too proud of themselves for me to keep up with.  The second challenge almost scared me off from the whole idea of internet dating.

I choose a couple of current photos and cropped out any extra people.  At the time, most of my photos consisted of me and my kids.  The last thing I wanted, was for a sea of people I didn’t know to be looking at my children.  Then I checked all the appropriate boxes and honestly filled in the “about me” sections.  I could have used Image Meisters back then.

I am happy to report that I did meet the love of my life online.  I can also report that it wasn’t his picture that made me take notice, because he didn’t post one (I don’t recommend that).  It was his write-up that made me take notice.  He was able to communicate who he was and what he was looking for in a way that matched up with me.  I am happy to report that we are now engaged to be married.

So is your write-up/profile attracting or detracting from your making the right connection?

Ask yourself the following questions:

1. How many times did I use the word ‘I’ in my profile?

-If it’s more than 10, find alternative approaches, like “my friends describe
me as _____________.”

2. Am I too focused on my accomplishments?

-Success is great and people define success in their own way. But don’t
overdo this aspect in your profile as you just might scare away someone
who is worthy.

3. Do I see the glass as half-full, or half-empty, or worse, just empty?

-Attitude is contagious and most people prefer upbeat partners.

4. Are you telling your story that you want to tell?

-If something is important to you, make your statement up front. If your 3
cats are an important part of your life, it’s more than ok to say that.

5. Am I doing the best job of marketing myself on-line?

-Most of us are not professional copywriters or marketing gurus. So solicit
your friends or an image enhancement service to help you make the right
connection as soon as possible.

 

Or better yet, 3 or 4 great pictures? Ladies need to know that their ticket to get to door #2 (your write-up or profile) is a small portfolio of photographs that is an accurate description of themselves. What do we mean by accurate? First it should be recent (not from 10, 15 or 20 years ago). It should be you and only you in the picture. It is ok to have fido or furball in one of the photos, but it is not acceptable to have some guy with his arm around you.

Who is that handsome guy? Her ex-husband, her son, her brother or who knows? What purpose does the extra person serve, other than to confuse the issue? One of our favorites is the snapshot from the other end of a football field. What was the intent on that intelligent move? If you didn’t want to be seen, well, that approach could work, but not to get into door #2. One of our other favorites in the category of planning to fail is the ‘in your face’ shot where you hold the camera 6 inches from your nose and fill the photograph with a cross between you and a full moon….not effective to say the least.

It’s a huge party, but not really. If you were going to a party, you’d pay lots of attention to what you’re wearing….many would buy a special outfit to look their best. You’d bring your best conversations, and light up the room with your smile.

So if you’re using an online dating site, why do so many of you treat it differently?

You are at both venues to meet that special someone, aren’t you? So why wouldn’t you make sure your photo represented your best image? And when it comes to your profile, is it conversational, or are you talking someone’s ear off?

So think about it…..maybe you should return that outfit and invest in improving your social media image…you may get a great return.

Baggage comes in all sizes and all shapes. Speaking of shapes, we are who we are, have the ability for the most part, to improve, but let’s represent ourselves with integrity. No offense, but if you mark down that you go to the gym 5 days a week, hopefully you’re getting a return on your investment. Do not use a 20-20 photo that was taken 20 years ago when you were 20 pounds lighter. I know how tough it is to get motivated for lots of us, especially with the crazy schedules we all have. But remember the golden rule that we want honesty from others as we would be honest with others.

So back to our surcharges for excess baggage:

If you’re married and say your single, $100 fine and one year’s suspension from dating sites.

If you say you like sports and your idea of sports is to spend the whole weekend in front of the TV, then it’s a $50 fine and an UNsportsmen-like conduct.

And for the woman who says she’s into sports, but thinks March Madness is how you feel when you’re shopping for Easter clothes, well, how about a $64 fine and a double technical with a 2 month suspension from dating sites.

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