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The best part about looking for love on dating websites is the time you save by simply perusing Houston profiles from the comfort and security of your living room. Yes, you might miss out on meeting some great people, but if you truly take the time to read someone’s profile instead of simply scanning for hot photos, you can definitely open the doors of opportunity.  After finding someone you think you might hit it off with, the inevitable communication dance comes next.  Initial contact, email, and hopefully a phone call.  It always seems to follow this particular order, especially when you’re meeting partners online.

The worst part about looking for love on dating websites is the uncertainty you will be compatible, sexually or otherwise.  When you meet someone in person for the first time, you usually know right away if any chemistry exists between the two of you.  This is just the way this kind of stuff works.  Chemistry is obviously important.  Two people could really, really like each other, but it doesn’t necessarily mean there is physical and sexual attraction.  And obviously, if you are looking for love and not a platonic relationship, you want the entire package.

One of the most frustrating things about dating online is that you can hit it off online with someone you meet on a dating website, but when the moment of truth arrives and you are together in person, something might be lacking.  What?  Well, it’s that elusive chemistry I was talking about.  No one I know can explain exactly what that is, but it most definitely exists.  If we could bottle sexual chemistry, we’d all be billionaires.  But we know it when we feel it, and it’s something you cannot feel through an email or a phone call.

The only way to know if you and your partner are sexually attracted to one another is to meet in person.  I think getting to know each other through your online profiles, and ultimately through email and phone communication is a great way to lay the foundation for a potentially good relationship.  And the physical stuff?  Well, you don’t know until you try, right?  That’s just the way it works.

I’m not suggesting the two of you jump into bed the moment you meet…but maybe you both have such strong animal magnetism, you might not be able to help yourselves.  If so, good for you and congratulations!  But for others, you might want to take things a bit more slowly.  If there is no attraction whatsoever, you cannot force chemistry.  It’s either there or it’s not.  Some people are attracted to their partner’s personality, but the physical attraction is not quite there.  If this is the case, you may want to give the relationship a little time to foster and grow.

Attraction can develop, particularly if you really like the person.  You’d be surprised how many stories I’ve heard from men and women who were ready to write someone off, but after spending more time with their date and getting to know them better, the personality came shining through and they became more attractive.  Trust me it can happen.

Photo via platano

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04May

Profiles that Stand Out on Dating Websites

You want to make your dating website profile stand out?  There’s only one thing to do.  Be yourself!  It’s sounds easier than it is, but the best advice for creating a great profile is to represent yourself honestly. You can’t possibly be someone you’re not, so don’t even try.  Don’t attempt to second guess what you think people are looking for, because the truth is, there is someone out there who is looking for someone exactly like you!

 

Take some time to work on your online profile.  Remember you want to show yourself in the best light possible, so don’t be reluctant to ask for help.  Get the people who know you best, your friends and family, to help you compose a list of your best attributes.  Then, instead of listing all these wonderful characteristics, describe in your writing how they apply to you.  If you are smart, witty, and have an outgoing personality, let these qualities be reflected in your profile.

 

Don’t try so hard; just be yourself.  Sometimes that is easier said than done, since it’s difficult to sum up who you are in a paragraph or two.  That’s why you need to take time to construct this profile carefully.  Let your writing have a free-flowing and conversational style.  Write the way you speak.  This will give your profile a friendly, informal feel to it and you will be presenting yourself in a much more approachable way, rather than sounding formal and stuffy and uptight.

 

If you happen to be quirky and unique, then don’t use these words, but show in your writing what an individual you are.  Don’t go overboard; always remember to stay as honest as possible.  Again, don’t try to be someone you’re not, and don’t say you enjoy doing certain activities if you don’t enjoy them just because you think it will attract a certain type of person.  What if you do attract a triathlete?  What then?  As soon as he finds out you have no interest in the sport and you’ve never been on a bicycle in your life, how do you suppose that relationship will end?  It will never get started.  You want to attract someone you are compatible with and who you will feel comfortable sharing aspects of your life.  So be honest. Honesty is the number one most important aspect to writing a great profile.

 

Honesty also applies to your profile picture.  Don’t mislead your potential dates by posting a photograph that is ten years old.  Or five years old for that matter.  If you have to take the time to take a new, current photo, then do so.  Wear something attractive.  Have an inviting background, and make sure your smile is authentic and not fake.  You will attract people to your profile if you are optimistic, positive and honest.  Don’t try to be sultry and provocative in your photo if that’s not who you are.  You will be uncomfortable and the camera will pick that up.  Have someone you trust and feel confident with take your new profile photo.  Your happiness will be reflected and a happy person is the type of person most people want to be around.  A current, smiling photo speaks volumes.

 

Finally, double-check the profile for spelling and grammatical errors before posting it.  You want to present yourself in a positive manner, so don’t be sloppy when it comes to your writing. Have one of your friends proofread the profile for you, just in case you missed anything.  All this care in constructing the best profile you can, will serve you well.  You will attract quality people and in turn find the best possible match from your dating website.

 

Photo via Charles Forbidden

 

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02May

Embracing the Differences between Men and Women on Dating Websites

I hate to state the obvious, but the truth is men and women are wired differently.  I know that comes as no surprise to many of you, but the fact is many people simply cannot figure out the opposite sex. Consequently, no matter how hard we try, and no matter how many books we read on the subject, it’s going to be nearly impossible to fully understand what your partner is thinking 100 percent of the time.  It’s impossible to know what anyone is thinking 100 percent of the time, but if you think you can get inside your man’s head and figure out what’s going on in there, you’re going to be very disappointed. When using dating websites to meet others, keep in mind, that these differences can enhance and not hinder your new relationship.

 

So in order to avoid that disappointment, don’t even try to figure out what’s on his mind.  Analyzing every little thing your partner is doing or saying will be enough to drive you both to the loony bin.  If you want to know what your partner is thinking, ask him! Wow…what a concept, huh?  But communication is the number one element to making your relationship successful.  If you ask your partner what’s on his mind, and you’re afraid he won’t tell you the truth, then…uh-oh…that’s a red flag right there!  If there is no trust in this relationship, it’s time for you to move on.  You two will never make it, if you don’t believe in one another.

 

Obviously, two people can’t know what the other one is thinking 24/7.  You have to establish boundaries and trust.  Yeah, there are times when you’ll be in sync with one another and that feels fantastic. Isn’t it great when you start a sentence, and your partner finishes it?  I love when that happens.  But don’t expect it all the time.  And it’s okay if it doesn’t ever happen. The two of you should be independent enough to have your own thoughts.  Honestly, you don’t have to tell each other everything!

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